Life, Love, & Shoes

Have you ever bought something that did not exactly fit right, but you decided to purchase it anyway simply because you wanted it too much?

Well, I found myself facing a similar problem a few days ago. I went to the SM Aura shopping mall last Monday to celebrate a friend's birthday. While browsing through a couple of stores, I came across this amazing pair of black spiked slip-ons that I immediately knew I had to have in my closet! Honestly, it was love at first sight.

After trying them on, I could say that they were perfect. The fact that they were spiked and sparkly (a blend of edginess and glamour) really appealed to me. But wait! There was only one problem . . . They did not exactly 'fit'. Darn my size 9 feet!

I asked the store associates if they had a pair in my size, but unfortunately they didn't. Size 8 was the largest size that they had available.

Oh no! What do I do?

Of course, since I wanted the shoes so badly, I decided to make a list of reasons of why I should get them (as opposed to why I shouldn't lol).

1) They weren't THAT tight on me. Sure, they felt a little uncomfortable, but beauty is pain, right? RIGHT?

2) I can always bring an extra pair of shoes with me in case the size 8 shoes started hurting my feet too much.

3) They're spiked.

4) They're sparkly.

5) Need I say more?

However, as I was about to purchase them, my friend told me to walk around the store for a little bit and see if I could tolerate the discomfort that the shoes were causing me. Reluctantly, I agreed.

I spent a good 15 minutes walking around the shop and browsing through the other items. After that, though, I had to give it up. The shoes started to cause me extreme pain! Since they were too small, they were making my toes bend at awkward angles every time I took a step. I guess they weren't "perfect" after all. I guess it wasn't meant to be.

This started to get me thinking about real-life relationships in terms of shoes.

At first glance, it may seem perfect to you. Maybe you'd even go so far as to call it "destiny". So you try it on, hoping for the best, and even though you start noticing that something is wrong, you force yourself to believe that everything is okay as long as you "bear the pain".

After a while, the pain becomes too much for you to handle, but still you try to tough it out. I mean, it's perfect! It's everything you ever wanted! The pain will be worth it in the end, right?

THE ANSWER IS NO. Just like the pair of sparkly spiked shoes that caught my heart, eventually you'll get tired of the pain, and you'll decide that they're no longer worth the agony and the stress that they are imposing upon you. Eventually you'll have to accept that no matter how much you want it, IT DOESN'T WANT YOU. And the worst part is, you'll end up hurting yourself while the shoes remain perfectly intact. 

I wanted the shoes even though they were too small for me. I really, really did. I even made up so many excuses to convince myself they were worth it. In the end, though, I did not end up purchasing them. Because I realized something . . .

THE PAIN ISN'T WORTH IT.

So even though it broke my heart to leave the shoes behind, I knew that one day, I'll find another pair . . . An even better pair. A pair that won't hurt whenever I wear them. A pair that fits just right.

And THAT will be worth it.

"With the right person, you don't have to work so hard to be happy. It just happens, effortlessly."

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Fashion is an investment, and clothes are like relationships

Fashion is an investment, and clothes are like relationships

This is something I've come to realize throughout the years. In the same way you invest your time and energy into your friendships and relationships, you invest your money into the things that you purchase, and it's only natural that you expect something in return. After all, relationships are two-sided and it's always a "give and take". When it comes to clothes, the thing we should expect from them at the very least is versatility and long-term use. That is why we need to pick and choose which pieces to invest a lot of money in, and which pieces we can get at a cheaper price and lower quality.

Think of it this way. There are some people in our lives that are mere acquaintances because they do not give us anything substantial or beneficial in the long-term, so we pass by them in the halls and say "hi" but that's as far as it goes, because ultimately they have no further use for us. Thinking about it in terms of clothing and accessories, these are the pieces that are trendy and seasonal, which means they come and go in the blink of an eye and so we do not necessarily need to invest a lot of money into them. It's okay to purchase pieces like these at a lower price even if it means that they will tear or break easily, because by that time they're probably out of style anyway. It's just like giving your acquaintances a little bit of your time but not too much, because once the fun runs out, they disappear from your life eventually.

The same principle can be applied to people that are close to you, such as your friends, boyfriends, and families. It's okay to invest so much time, effort, and energy into those relationships because they are durable, long-lasting, and will be beneficial to you for your entire life. These are like the clothes and accessories that are classic and timeless, which means you'll be able to wear them throughout all seasons in a long time to come. Investing a lot of money into these kinds of things is worth it, because in return you are receiving years and years of use. A $50 cardigan, for example, might seem a tad bit overpriced, but if you think about it in the long run, it is actually worth every penny because you will still be able to wear it 10, 20, and even 30 years from now.

To put it simply in "designer" language:

"A limited edition Louis Vuitton Miroir Speedy might seem like a good choice of purchase, but in the end, you'll realize that a classic Monogram Neverfull might just be the better option."

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Getting rid of the habit of wearing black

A lot of people have e-mailed me telling me how much my blog and my Mode Lab articles inspire them to want to wear bold patterns and prints. The problem is, a lot of them feel hesitant about doing so because they are so used to wearing black and don't know how to wear anything else besides that. 

If you ask me, I'd say that getting rid of the habit of wearing black is like giving up smoking.

Wearing black has become such an ingrained habit nowadays that people seldom strive to try anything "new" anymore. In fact, wearing black is almost as addictive as nicotine.

When we smoke cigarettes, we experience a certain feeling of calmness. Similarly, when we wear black, we get a familiar comforting feeling because we all know that "no one can go wrong with basic black". And it's true -- black always makes us look confident and sophisticated.

However, if you are a fashion-conscious human being (if you're not, you're reading the wrong blog), then I

 must urge you to step out of your comfort zone and experiment a little more with new things.

Giving up "black" is like giving up cigarettes -- you have to take it one day at a time. Don't go into shock by suddenly thrusting yourself into the world of colors and prints. Instead, start slow by incorporating subtle pops of color into your outfits by wearing colored accessories, bags, and shoes. After a couple of months of doing this, you will start to feel more comfortable with colors and be able to wear dresses, cardigans, and jeans in bright and bold hues. Once you've grown accustomed to doing this, you will then start to feel excited about mixing and matching different prints and colors together.

Much like giving up cigarettes, however, there will always be a time where you'll experience a period of withdrawal and go back to wearing the black that you love so much. The good thing about it is that when that time comes, your desire to wear black will merely be a "want" instead of a "need", which means you'll be perfectly comfortable to wear other colors too depending on your mood.

I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but I personally find it boring how designers often use black as the predominant color in their collections. Since "everyone looks good in black", isn't it kind of a cheap cop-out to resort to this ancient method of looking good? 

It's like you're admitting to yourself that you do not have a good sense of style or eye for fashion because you only wear something that you know would look good on everyone else too.

BY: KYLE RODRIGUEZ

FROM: The Stylish Bipolar 

(http://www.thestylishbipolar.com/)

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